Friday, February 24, 2017


As I sit in front of this keyboard and reflect on the last week of vacation, the thought crosses my mind that I might be one of my daughter's sensory triggers. I've never thought about it before but a series of events have left me with this nagging feeling that it might be true. A meeting I sat in where the people present talked about how far the mother had come and how she used to trigger the behaviors in the child. My return to my house after a morning away triggers an emotional meltdown and a comment from my husband "but she has been fine all day until you got home." A return to constipation and what I affectionately refer to as a kicking potty sessions during our week of vacation. Meltdowns on the mornings I am home and take her to school and most recently an article that says moments of stress can result in constipation in children on the autism spectrum. Excellent. So great. It warms the heart.

It is hard to be the one person your sensory child always needs because it requires you to be their rock. Their calm in the storm. To be honest, I should have handed that job off this week to someone else and run far away. My own stress and worries did not put me in a mindset to settle and be zen like. I currently do not have the strength to breath deeply and speak calmly. So I have been triggering chaos because my child is still recovering from the stomach bug that ended almost two weeks ago and that means she is fighting pooping like it is her mortal enemy.

I guess this is part of the process. Acknowledging that you are a piece of the problem. Now it is time to work on my own coping skills so that I can be a better mother to my beautiful and complicated child. Maybe it begins with learning how to breath deeply.

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