Thursday, April 26, 2018

Poem in My Pocket Day

The Woman in the Mirror

Some days I look in the mirror and I can’t recognize the woman I’ve become.
The sleepless nights and hours of worry lay wreck upon my skin.
I stand in front of my open closet, struggling with what to wear.
Everything I own is from my old life, my old me,
It belongs to the girl I no longer see in my reflection.


Other days I get up and I can see my core.
The light inside shines brighter and stronger because of the path I trod.
On those days I don my decade old clothes and walk with pride.
The new me loves and laughs and cries from the depths of my being.
I embrace life in deeper ways than the old me could have ever imagined.


Today I stand in front of the closet mirror and take a deep breath.
I speak out loud before I realize I am going to, “I am still me in all the right ways.” I say.
Like the clothes I wear, I am not current or new or shiny.
But I am made from quality items, dependable and built to last.


I am just who I am supposed to be.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Happy 5th Birthday


Two years ago a little girl stood in front of a milk based cake covered with milk chocolate M+M's. You had carefully chosen every aspect of that Mickey Mouse cake and were vibrating with excitement at the thought of eating it. We fed you a taco bar with cheese and spent our time taking pictures at angles that didn't show the bald spots in your hair. You didn't make eye contact with your guests and shied away from hugging your family, who just wanted to show their love in the best way that they knew how. Although I cannot seem to find the picture, the one of your peering over your cake, waiting for it to be cut, remains permanently etched in my mind for many reasons.

This picture sums up our experience. You are standing in front of something that was tearing your insides apart, which we fed you because we didn't know any better.  But, because you went through that day, we were able to begin figuring out what was going on. We were able to begin the journey we needed to be on. We were able to ditch that lousy GI doctor, go with Dr. Colton's advice and watch you begin to thrive. Seven doctors, two IEP's and countless hours of therapies later, you are now turning 5. This weekend's party will be much different from that day. It will be milk free and completely "Sophie friendly." You will be able to handle hugs and talking to the countless relatives who love listening to your stories. If we are lucky, you might even perform an Irish dance for us! 

This has been a big year for you. You have come so far and I couldn't be prouder. You have faced every challenge and succeeded and we love you for who you are and who you are becoming. You will always face challenges that a neuro-typical child will not have to master but with the tools you have learned this year and continue to learn, I know you will thrive. I hope you don't mind that I share our journey with the world. Somewhere there is a little girl or boy is facing the same challenges and I hope that our words can help give their life peace and hope. Happy Birthday my love. I can't wait to see what you do next.